


Head Over Heels

by aqonoluna



Series: Can You Love Me Naked? [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abusive Parents, Adopted Children, Anger, Anger Management, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Persona 5 Protagonist, Bisexuality, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Conversations, Crushes, Depictions of Abuse, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Fluff and Angst, Fluid Sexuality, Good Boy Sakamoto Ryuji, Heteroflexibility, Heteroflexible Sakamoto Ryuji, Honesty, Horny Teenagers, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Lesbian Takamaki Ann, Let Sakamoto Ryuji Say Fuck, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Sakamoto Ryuji, Panic, Panic Attacks, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Abuse, Persona 5 Protagonist Needs a Hug, Pining, Sad Sakamoto Ryuji, Sakamoto Ryuji Needs a Hug, Secret Crush, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Reflection, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Single Parents, Slight Canon Divergence, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soft Boys, Teen Crush, Teenage Dorks, Teenagers, Texting, Thirsty Persona 5 Protagonist, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25426027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqonoluna/pseuds/aqonoluna
Summary: Falling head over heels for the student everyone insists is a troublemaker is not what Akira had planned on doing when he was forced to transfer to a new school.Yet, here he is: In love with that exact troublemaker; in love with his best friend (because troublemakers have to stick together) — and he has been for six months.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann
Series: Can You Love Me Naked? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859566
Comments: 93
Kudos: 170





	1. Late-Night Panic (Akira)

[Akira][00:01] I am having a CRISIS.

[Ann][00:03] What is it this time, Akira?

What **_is_** his crisis?

Well, that’s simple: Ryuji is literally too straight to see just how much Akira has fallen for him.

It’s as though he doesn’t even realize how romantic half the shit he says is! His place is next to Ryuji and Ryuji’s place is next to him? Seriously?! Who even _says that_ with, no pun intended, a one hundred percent straight face?! 

It’s driving him insane, pretending like the stuff Ryuji says — stuff like _that_ — doesn’t drive him crazy and doesn’t make him fall deeper in love with the straightest person he’s ever met. He doesn’t even bother saying stuff like that in return; it would be pointless. As much as he would absolutely mean every word of it, it’d be lost on him. He’d never pick up on what he means...

... and what if it _wasn’t_ lost on him? Then what? He would have to deal with Ryuji saying something along the lines of _“Listen, man, I’m flattered and all, but... I don’t swing that way.”_ and there is NO WAY his heart can take a blow like that; there’s NO WAY he can handle that kind of rejection. Not from Ryuji. He would much rather pine after him for the rest of his life, and die alone, than do anything even remotely close to risking their friendship off the slim chance his attempts at flirting back aren’t lost on him.

“You’re such a mess,” Morgana says, sitting at the foot of the bed, watching Akira hold his phone and reel over his emotions. 

It’s not like Morgana doesn’t know exactly what’s going on. He does. Akira likes Ryuji as more than just a friend and he’s fretting about it. He’s been doing this literally every night since the end of June. It began shortly after helping Ryuji deal with the track team (something about the coach or something; Morgana hadn’t really been in on the details, nor did he much care). Right after that, something sort of strange had happened and Ryuji’s persona changed from Captain Kidd to Seiten Taisei pretty much over night, without warning. Morgana had a theory it happened because of a deepened trust in Akira on Ryuji’s part... It made sense — and it would also explain why Akira now did this. Why he spent his nights fretting over his schoolboy crush on Ryuji instead of sleeping.

Akira shoots Morgana something close to a death stare, glowering as he closes his eyes and sinks back against the pillow, letting out a rather unnecessarily dramatic sigh in the process. Seriously, if Shujin had a theatre program, he would be perfect for any part, with all these theatrics.

Morgana ignores the look and the venom behind it; ignores the theatrics that are meant to make him back down. Akira is tired and stressed; he doesn’t mean anything by it, he knows that. “You do know sitting up in bed at midnight and texting Lady Ann about your problem isn’t actually going solve your problem, right? You really need to talk to Ryuji, Akira.”

That is never going to happen.

[Ann][00:14] I’m assuming by the lack of response you either went to sleep or you’ve dealt with your own crisis this time.

[Akira][00:15] Neither.

[Ann][00:15] I can’t help you, Akira. You need to talk to Ryuji.

[Akira][00:15] Absolutely not.

With Ann, things are much different than with Ryuji.

Ann is the kind of person to tell someone what they need to hear without sugar-coating it. As much as Akira may not want to admit it, that’s the kind of person he needs in his life; the kind of support system he needs to keep himself afloat. Especially during times like this, when he’s wasting precious sleeping hours fretting over a crush.

Around the same time Ryuji’s persona changed, so did Ann’s. Hers went from Carmen to Hecate. He can’t recall what happened around that time for hers to change, but he knows something happened. She has sense gone from simply being someone he can talk to from time to time to someone he can text in the middle of the night, and all other hours of the day — and pretty much whenever he needs to talk to to her, she is right there, always just a text or a phone call away. She may respond by telling him there’s nothing she can do, but that’s the thing of it all: she has no reason to sugar-coat things with him, and she isn’t going to. It’s because of her honesty (not brutal honesty, just honesty) that he’s always going to go right back to texting her the next time he has a crisis.

In different circumstances, had Ryuji not done something just _a little more right_ , whatever that something might be, to enamor him, he might’ve even considered dating her.

“Just text Ryuji,” Morgana says, siding with Ann. Akira really needed to learn to text closer to his face, to prevent his cat from reading over his shoulder. “This is insane, Akira. You’re not going to drive him away. The worst thing he’s gonna say is he’s straight.”

“I don’t want to make things awkward.”

“Don’t you think you’re already making things awkward by keeping Lady Ann and yourself up all night while you deal with the same problem _every night_? Maybe try and make this Ryuji’s problem instead of Lady Ann’s.”

If the tables were turned, and Akira’s useless, bisexual ass had a crush on Ann instead, Morgana knows for a fact he would be up all night text Ryuji about it instead. Hell, if he had a crush on any woman at all (and probably a different man), he would be texting Ryuji instead. He would likely be making just as little progress when it comes to actually saying something, but, nonetheless, he would assuredly be texting Ryuji about it instead.

All of that is to say, Akira can trust Ryuji, and he usually does talk to him about everything he either does or doesn’t talk to Ann about. He’s just refusing to talk to Ryuji about this because it’s about him.

Akira sighs softly and for the longest time, he doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing he can bring himself to say. He’s staring off into space, mulling over everything Morgana has just said. Of course he’s right; of course it’s selfish to be making this Ann’s problem on a nightly basis, but he can’t help it. He’s so deeply and insanely in love with Ryuji and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s tried to have a crush on other people. There’s plenty of beautiful, charming women at the school — and there’s plenty of men he knows for a fact identify as LGBT — and it isn’t like he wouldn’t consider dating one of them, but his heart is so passionately, deeply, insanely in love with Ryuji... The thought of being with anyone else feels like settling and the last thing he wants to do to someone is settle for them.

Maybe he does need to talk to Ryuji.

“I can’t do it right now.”

“No one is saying you need to do it right now.”

“I... I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll tell him in person,” he says, and immediately that feels like a terrible idea. It’s one thing to tell him over text and be rejected, but the thought of being rejected face-to-face sounds terrifying. “I... I think. I-Is that a good idea?”

“You’d get some sleep,” Morgana offers. “Plus, Lady Ann and I will be there. It’s not like you’ll be alone _if_ things happen to go south.”

Akira groans and presses the palms of his hands to his eyes. It’s been months with this stupid crush. He’s spent months of his life losing sleep because of his crush on Ryuji. He swears he read somewhere that if a crush lasts longer than two months, then it’s love. Well, four months (and honestly, probably six, because he isn’t so stupid to think he didn’t fall in love with him at first sight) is certainly way longer than two months, so is this even a crush anymore? Or is he simply hopelessly and helplessly in love with his best friend at this point? Either way... he has to do something.

Akira groans loudly and grabs his phone again.

[Akira][00:27] Tomorrow. I’m telling Ryuji how I feel tomorrow and you and Morgana are gonna be there. I’ll do it at the station after school.

[Ann][00:27] Sure. I’ll be there. ;*

Akira sighs and puts his phone down. Laying back on the pillow again, he closes his eyes and tries to calm down his mind enough to fall asleep. After all, he needs to be rested for this. He needs to just relax so he can be in his right mind when he talks to—

Fuck. This is really happening.


	2. Anger, Confusion and Distrust (Ryuji)

Ryuji wants to scream.

To put it quite simply, Ryuji doesn’t need his friends to tell him he’s stupid. He _knows for a fact_ he’s stupid. There’s a whole lot of shit he knows he doesn’t know or understand — and the constant reminders; the constant jabs from the people who are _supposed_ to be on his side... makes him want to... to... _punch a hole in the fucking wall._

Except, every time he even _considers_ doing something like punching a whole in the wall, he sees two things: a mental image of his father doing that exact thing when he was a child, and a reflection of Akira’s face on the wall.

No matter how angry he is, he can never do anything to hurt his best friend. Even if it is just a mental image of him he’s created. He’s at least smart enough to know when something _isn’t real._

Groaning, Ryuji shoves his hands through his hair and slides down the walls. Sitting with his knees to his chest, he presses his hands to his eyes and just sits there, trying to calm himself down. It isn’t so easy to do on his own, but he’s trying. Akira has managed to pacify him so many times, he’s sure he can figure out how to do it by himself.

This is bullshit.

Something has been going on with Akira and Ryuji can’t figure out what. Whenever he tries asking him if he’s all right, he _lies to him_ and tells him that he is. He knows it’s a lie! If there’s anything Ryuji can detect, it’s a lie! He may not be very smart when it comes to schoolwork, but if he’s good at anything, it’s sports and knowing when he’s being lied to — and it hurts knowing his best friend is lying to him, and he can’t even figure out why! He’s run through every scenario he can think of, and he continually comes up with nothing. There’s no reason he can think of that Akira would be lying to him about what’s going on, unless...

With a sharp yell, Ryuji gets back on his feet and goes about pacing the room. His carpet is worn down in a tight circle from where he’s done this dozens of times before. It doesn’t ever really help to calm him down, but at least it keeps him from punching a hole through the apartment wall and eventually tires him out — or sets his leg on fire and forces him to sit down. Whichever comes first.

This has pissed him off before. This is an almost nightly thing for him, at this point. It’s just that... the more nights he spends doing this, the more enraged he becomes, and the harder it becomes to calm down...

...and the closer he comes to ending his friendship with Akira to put an end to these complicated emotions; to put a stop to the lying.

Dammit! Why hasn’t he done it already? He’s been asking Akira for WEEKS if he’s all right, and for WEEKS he’s been lying to him. So, why hasn’t he put an end to this if all he’s going to get from his supposed best friend is nothing but dishonesty?

Well, that’s simple. It’s because...

Ryuji can’t breathe without Akira. He can’t breathe and he can’t function. Without him, he’s positive he would utterly fall apart.

No one else besides Akira stands up for Ryuji quite the way he does. He may be lying to him about _fuck knows what_ , but he also sticks up for him. When he needed help with the track team, he was there. When Morgana went overboard and made the wrong jab, Akira was there to intervene, siding with him. When Morgana got upset and ran away from the group, Akira didn’t blame him. When everyone tells him he’s nothing more than an idiot; he’s pathetic and useless and _stupid_ , Akira is there to remind him book smarts aren’t everything; he’s there to remind him all the ways he’s a good person, too.

Akira might be lying to him about something — and who knows, considering he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed or the brightest crayon in the box, maybe he _is_ misinterpreting the situation entirely and there’s really nothing going on — but he means so much to him. He’s the reason Ryuji gets up in the morning and continues to go to school; he’s the reason he tries so hard when they fight shadows in Mementos or in Palaces; he’s the reason he’s so determined to get back in shape and start running again; he’s the... he’s the light of his life and—

God dammit! This is bullshit! He’s never had to deal with so many complicated emotions before! He doesn’t even understand what they all mean. How can he simultaneously be all right with being lied to because of everything else Akira does but also want to yell at him for doing it at all?! How can he spend his nights mad that his best friend is keeping something from him but feel pacified by that _same exact person_ during the day, even after being lied to as he asks him for the millionth time what’s wrong? It doesn’t make any sense!

Yet...

[Akira][01:37] Can we talk at Ayoama-Itchome station tomorrow?

Yet when his internal ranting is interrupted by a simple text by Akira, Ryuji suddenly feels calm. It’s like all the problems he was dealing with before suddenly wash away completely, because, somehow, nothing is ever going to be more important than Akira. Not even a problem he has with Akira himself.

The message admittedly makes him a bit uneasy, though, because... what could he need to talk about, and why at the station outside school?

He chooses not to think about it, lest he go on another mental tirade that only results in him getting fired up and berating himself for being an idiot.

[Ryuji][01:40] Sure. :)

[Akira][01:40] Thank you.

[Akira][01:40] :)

The smiley face does him in. Not because of the emoji itself, but because be can’t help but imagine Akira’s beautiful smile; can’t help but imagine the way it lights up his face and brightens his eyes. The way it pushes those stupidly adorable, fake glasses up his face.

Where Ryuji had been fuming before, now he—

[Akira][01:49] I... I love you, Ryuji.

[Akira][01:50] I’m sorry. Please don’t overthink that.

[Akira][01:50] I promise I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow.

_Love?_

_An apology?_

Why does Ryuji suddenly feel like screaming again... but for an entirely different reason? Not out of anger, but out of something else; out of something he’s never felt before and doesn’t understand... Something that makes him feel light on his feet and a million pounds at the same time. Something that he wants more of but also wants to run from...

“Love?”


	3. Second Thoughts

Akira didn’t end up getting any sleep.

When his alarm starts blaring at the ass-crack of dawn him to get up, he groans and roles over to shut it off. He momentarily debates over chucking it across the room, but breaking things given to him by Sojiro just because he decided to spend the night fretting about a crush instead of getting some sleep feels like an asshole thing to do... so he refrains.

“Come on, then, sleepyhead. Time to get up,” Morgana says gently, jumping out of bed. Akira isn’t a morning person as it is, but at times when he’s had no sleep like this? He prefers to keep his head. “You have a big day.”

Suddenly, Akira feels sick. With a soft cry full of enough sadness and despair to break the hearts of everyone within a five hundred kilometer radius, he rolls over onto his stomach and buries his face into his pillow, lifting the sides of it around his ears. If he can just shut out the outside world, then perhaps he can convince himself agreeing to talk to Ryuji didn’t happen and pretend he didn’t text him directly, saying he wants to talk to him after school today. Perhaps if he can shut out the world, he won’t feel so much like throwing up.

This crush is slowly eating him alive.

If that isn’t the saddest sound Morgana has ever heard come from someone, he doesn’t know what is. “Hey...” Jumping back on the bed, Morgana nudges Akira’s arm with his nose. “Akira, it’s going to be all right.”

When Akira turns his head to look at Morgana, his eyes are already bloodshot and puffy, tears filling the corners of his eyes and streaming down his face toward the pillow. His nose is runny, made obvious by the fact he keeps loudly sniffling every few seconds to prevent snot from dribbling over his upper lip. 

Strike that! The sound he made is no longer the most heartbreaking part about the state Akira is in... It’s literally everything about him.

“I can’t do this, Morgana,” he whispers shakily. Any louder and he would assuredly start crying, which would only make him feel like an idiot. He’s supposed to be the fearless, stoic leader of the Phantom Thieves and here he is laying in bed, crying over a boy when he’s supposed to be getting up to catch the train for school in thirty minutes. “I can’t talk to him; I can’t tell him I like him. He’s straight. You see the way he looks at Ann and the way he tries hitting on women. If he wanted to be with a man, he’d hit on one.”

“You look at Lady Ann, too, though. I can think of three different times, _at least_ , where you’ve tried looking at her chest,” Morgana says. Now isn’t the time to make this about his crush on Ann. He knows better than to take the spotlight off of Akira... because, being the helper he is, he’ll focus on that instead. “...and maybe the reason Ryuji doesn’t hit on men is because he doesn’t realize he wants to be with one. Or maybe he doesn’t like men, but would make an exception for you.”

“Or maybe he’s just straight and would never want to be with a man at all, no matter who he is,” Akira says, his tone a little bit more snappy than intended... but least he sounds less like he wants to cry now.

Morgana sits down and, without warning, goes about licking Akira’s face of the tears running down it. It’s such an animalistic thing to do, but he doesn’t hands. It’s the best thing he can do to help — and, thankfully, Akira seems to be simply letting him. They do have a notably strange relationship, after all. He continues licking until he’s satisfied then stops and pulls back.

“You never know unless you try,” Morgana says. “You deserve to know the truth. You’re going to be a mess like this for the rest of your life, unless you like to him.” At this point, he curls up by his chest to continue his thoughts, purring. He’s heard purring helps humans with anxiety so, of course if he can do it and it might help Akira, he’s going to try it. “If it goes south, well, you’re only here for a few more months. You can go home and move on and pretend he doesn’t exist.” He pauses for a moment, then sighs. “But if you don’t talk to him, Akira, all the _what ifs_ will eat you alive.”

Morgana is right.

Of course Morgana right.

Akira isn’t even from Tokyo. If this goes badly, it’ll only be weird for a few months until he goes home, at which point he can forget about Ryuji and move on with his life — and let himself look for someone else.

He refuses to entertain the thought this will go well, to be honest. His best friend is straight. There’s no way in hell this is going to go well... but he’s never going to move on if he doesn’t suck it up and say something.

Drawing in a slow, shaky breath, Akira sits up and dries his extra tears. Within moments, his signature expressionless features are back in check, complete with his glasses that make him look more astute, the sadness and the stress currently pushed so far down he almost can’t even find where he put it — because if there’s one thing he learned from his father...

“We should hurry before we miss the train.”

Morgana nods and helps Akira get his uniform, giving him some privacy to get ready by going downstairs and waiting. He scarfs down some food given to him by the Chief as he waits.

With ten minutes to spare to get to Yongen-Jaya station, Akira comes downstairs looking as put together as ever. Without knowing already or taking a closer look to see it, one would never be able to guess he’s having an internal crisis or that he had just been crying. It’s almost scary how well he puts on the mask of stoicism to go unnoticed.

Collecting up his stuff, Akira kneels down so Morgana can jump in his bag then hoists it onto his shoulder, cat and books and all. He bids farewell to Sojiro, who shoves something packaged into his hand, generally advises him to stay out of trouble, and tells him to have a good day as he hurries out the door and toward the station.

Once he’s on the train and has managed to snag a seat, he leans back, lets out a heavy breath, and lets himself relax a little bit — at least, for the time being.

Finally, he looks down at what he has in his hand.

It’s a vanilla-flavored, wafer protein bar. His favorite. There’s a sticky note on it, too. Luckily he had been gripping the bar, lest he had ended up losing the note.

**_Breathe, kid.  
You’ll be all right._ **

Sojiro had no idea how much he needed to hear that.

Exhaling shakily through pursed lips, Akira pulls off the note and folds it up nicely to put in his pocket, intending on keeping it for support later on. He then sits back and lets himself enjoy the breakfast Sojiro didn’t let him miss.

Maybe talking to Ryuji really won’t be that bad.


	4. Confession of Love

The school day went off without a hitch.

Well, sort of...

Akira always has lunch with Morgana, Ann, and Ryuji. It has been an every day thing ever since they unofficially officially established The Phantom Thieves. Even with Haru and Makoto being part of their team, it’s still only them four who have lunch together, weather permitting, on the roof or, in cases of inclement weather, like rain or snow, near the vending machines.

Unsurprisingly, they’re left alone no matter where they have lunch. They’re the perfect group of social outcasts, with Akira feeling like the biggest one of them all. At least Ann got an apology after Kamoshida and Ryuji was able to make amends with the track team. Even now, six months later, people still gossip (albeit not as much, but it still happens) about Akira being a ‘criminal.’

That isn’t why lunch was a disaster.

Today, lunch was a disaster because Akira didn’t show up to the roof to be with his friends. He couldn’t do it. Instead, he went to the bathroom and held himself up in one of the stalls, put his feet on the toilet, and hid with Morgana until the bell rang.

It didn’t take long for him to become bombarded with messages.

[Ryuji][12:04] Ann and I are waiting for you on the roof.

[Ann][12:08] We’re in the same class, idiot. 

[Ann][12:08] I know you’re here.

[Ryuji][12:13] Is everything all right, Akira? Where did ya go? Ya in the bathroom?

Akira couldn’t even bring himself to to respond to that text, saying he was indeed currently in the bathroom. If he admitted to being in the bathroom, they would expect him to join them at some point. Instead, he simply let the phone rest on his legs and watched as the messages continued coming in every few minutes or so, cowardly not responding.

[Ann][12:18] Lunch is nearly half over. Are you going to join us or not?

[Ryuji][12:19] Yeah, man. Are you gonna join us?

[Ryuji][12:30] Did I do something, Akira?

That last text had stabbed him in the heart, forcing him to shut off his phone and shove it in the depths of his school bag. He couldn’t watch anymore.

“Y’know, Lady Ann is gonna chew you out for avoiding their texts,” Morgana had said.

Akira swallowed, absently staring at the stall door for what felt like an eternity. Finally, letting out a long, low sigh, he buried his face into his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around the back of his neck. His heart was racing a mile a minute and he legitimately, even if for just a moment, felt like he might pass out or die.

“I know.”

On a bench at Ayoama-Itchome station, Akira is sitting in a fashion not dissimilar to the way he had been sitting in the bathroom at lunchtime. He isn’t even sure if he’s here for a reason; he isn’t sure if his friends are even going to still meet him, after the stunt he pulled. 

After chewing him out like Morgana had ensured she would, Ann said she would talk to Ryuji and do what she could to convince him to still meet at the station. However, and this was her just being candid, which he appreciated as usual, though it felt very much like another stab right through the heart, Akira had upset him by avoiding all their texts out of nowhere and never showing up for lunch, so it would probably take some convincing.

“You’re lucky I love you, Akira.”

“I know.”

He isn’t sure how to describe it, but Akira feels a shift in the energy surrounding him. Swallowing, he lifts his head from his knees to immediately see Ann standing in front of him, and then looks to his side to see Ryuji sitting beside him. He may be sitting on the other end of the bench, but at least he’s sitting beside him at all and at least he’s here.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

Goosebumps form all the way down Akira’s neck and over his arms and legs, causing him to shiver when he feels them running down his spine. Just like when he woke up, he feels sick again. Every part of his body is telling him to run from this, but he knows that’s the absolute wrong thing to do; he knows if he runs from this now, that’s it. Ryuji isn’t here because he texted him last night. Not anymore, at least. He’s here because Ann convinced him he should be, despite his constant lying and today’s stupid stunt. This is his one shot to get this out, and he has to, because if he doesn’t...

“Y... Yeah.”

There’s a silence between them. Akira watches Ryuji out of the corner of his eye; watches as his expression softens a bit and he matches his way of sitting, with his feet on the bench and his arms wrapped around his legs. It makes Akira feel a lot more comfortable that he isn’t so rigid.

“Go ahead.”

Still, this is probably the hardest thing Akira has ever had to say to someone (and he’s had a lot of hardship smack him right in the face and kick him to the ground within the last year). He’s run through all the possible outcomes and the most likely one is that Ryuji is going to tell him he’s straight; is going to tell him that he’s flattered but he isn’t into men. At least, that’s the most likely scenario he came up with before pissing him off at lunch. Now a not-insignificant part of him is worried he might just get pissed.

Either way, it’s literally now or never.

“I’ve told you I’m bi, right?”

“Mhm. In May,” Ryuji murmurs, way more gently than Akira is prepared for, considering how upset he had just looked. “Why? Are you not?”

“N-no... I am...” Akira sighs. This isn’t going the way he planned. Not that he put much thought or planning into this beyond texting Ryuji at one-thirty in the morning, asking him to meet him here. Everything after that has just been him nonstop stressing or flat out panicking. “I just... um...”

Part of Akira wishes Ryuji could just figure out what he’s trying to say on his own and interject, but that’s asking a lot. He loves absolutely everything about the boy sitting beside him, but he’s not the best when it comes to logical thinking or deductive reasoning, so expecting him to be able to put together mental puzzle pieces like this is asking way too much.

_You can do this, Akira._

“I love you, Ryuji.”

Ryuji frowns, furrowing his eyebrows.

It’s not the expression of someone who’s put off by the statement. It’s the expression of someone who’s trying to figure out why he would be asked to Ayoama-Itchome station, of all places, to be told something he hears all the time. It’s the expression of someone who isn’t great at putting mental puzzle pieces together, trying to do just that. It’s the expression of someone’s who’s straight, sitting next to his bisexual male best friend, trying to figure out what makes this confession of love any different from usual.

“I-I... I know, man. I— I love ya, too. Why would you ask me here to say that, though? You say it... all the—” Suddenly, it clicks. The look of understanding in his eyes says it all. “Oh.”

Akira sighs softly, looking down at the ground as he rests his chin between his knees. He hugs his legs a bit tighter. “Yeah.”

“You love me?”

“Yeah.”

“Like... not as yer best friend? As someone ya have a crush on?”

“Both.”

“Oh.” Ryuji follows suit on Akira’s actions, resting his chin between his knees and looking down at the ground. He also holds his legs a bit tighter. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“‘That’s sweet, but I’m straight’?” Akira offers.

“I think so.”

“Y-You think so?” Akira stutters, nearly choking on his saliva. That’s not a response he planned for. For a moment, he closes his eyes and lets out a shaky breath to regain his composure. When he opens them again, he looks to Ryuji with just his eyes, not moving his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean... I dunno...” Ryuji shrugs helplessly. “I think so.” He pauses to think for a moment, still putting together pieces in his head. “Is this why you’ve been lying to me for so long when I ask if you’re all right?”

Akira flinches. “So you noticed...”

“Of course I noticed, you idiot. Yer my best friend. It’s my job to notice when somethin’s wrong...” He sighs, deflating a little bit, looking all to similar to a sad puppy with its tail between its legs. “Even if I was too stupid to figure out why, I guess. It seems so damn obvious now.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” Akira says gently. To be fair, he could have been less evasive of such a simple question. “I’m sorry I was lying to you. That wasn’t cool of me. You are not stupid and I shouldn’t have been lying.”

Ryuji sighs but nods, accepting the apology. He’s quiet for awhile, looking all too much like he’s trying to figure out some kind of huge math equation he didn’t pay attention to the explanation of... and it makes Akira want to jump in and help him, but, unfortunately, this probably isn’t something he can help him with. Not this time.

“I need t’ think,” he finally says. “I’m not saying yes or no or nothin’ but... I need t’ think. I need to figure some shit out. Is that all right?”

Akira immediately nods, waves of relief crashing through him, making him feel the calmest he’s been in almost a year. Even if Ryuji comes back and tells him exactly what he thought, that he’s flattered and all but he’s straight, there’s something about him taking the time to consider this that feels like a win no matter what happens.

“Thank you.” Ryuji stands up. Clearing his throat, he hesitates momentarily before leaning over and kissing the top of Akira’s head. “I’ll call ya tomorrow.”

Ryuji disappears into the crowd to catch the train.

Ann approaches in his place, holding Akira’s bag with Morgana. She hands the bag over and he hikes it up on his shoulder. There’s a small smile plastered on his face, one he’s trying to bite back. He doesn’t want to get too excited just yet, but the kiss on his head has him admittedly light on his feet.

“Looks like that went well,” Ann said, smiling.

“It went better than I expected.”

“Let me know how it goes tomorrow.”

“I will.”

Ann smiles and pulls Akira into a hug. They stand like that for a moment before she kisses him on the cheek and breaks up the embrace. Giving him one more smile, she bids farewell to him and Morgana and disappears in the crowd as well.

Morgana rustles in Akira’s bag, sticking his head out of the half-zipped top. He watches as Ann walks off, turning to Akira only when she has fully disappeared.

“Let’s go home.”


	5. Assisted Self-Reflection

What the hell was Ryuji thinking?

There is no way in hell Ryuji is going to be able to deal with this on his own, and especially not in the timeframe he had promised Akira he would contact him. If he isn’t emotionally smart enough to figure out his best friend likes him, he certainly isn’t going to organize his thoughts, feelings, and emotions all in enough time to give a solid answer in one day.

That’s including the fact it’s Saturday, which means he can stay up all night into Sunday morning to deal with this... Which he’s positive will be the case.

Closing his eyes and reaching out for the doorknob, he stands outside his apartment door for a few moments, not opening the door and not moving. He can’t bring himself to go in because what if his mother is home? She will assuredly recognize something is wrong and ask him about it. How can he tell his mother he might very well be into men — _no_ — into _a_ man?

Ryuji has no idea how long he’s been standing outside the door, but all of a sudden the door opens and he stumbles back, catching himself at the last second before falling. Blinking and tightening his hands around the straps of the bag on his back as if that’ll give him balance, he looks surprised to see his mother standing there. Not that he should be. He’s been standing in the hallway for some undermined amount of time, knowing full well his mother was home (even if he hoped she wasn’t), so it’s not like it’s much of a surprise to see her standing there.

“Ryuji? What are you doing out here?”

His mother has a meek voice. She has one of those voices that, if you’re not listening for it of to it, you’ll never hear it. As far back as he can remember, he’s never heard her speak above a few octaves, her voice easily being drowned out by that of his father’s and his own, though Ryuji tries his best to not to be loud around his mother.

She’s a short woman, standing relatively close to the same height as Futaba. Ryuji isn’t the tallest man he’s met, but he does dwarf his mother. She wears long skirts that make her legs look longer than they are, dress shirts that are usually white, and cardigans of varying colors, all of which have been presents from Ryuji. Her black, thin and aging hair is cut into a bob that perfectly frame her face. In the past few years, she’s started to wear glasses, but not for the same reason Akira does... because she actually needs them.

_Akira._

Right.

That’s why he’s standing in the hallway.

“I was... about to come in,” he says slowly, choosing his words carefully, “but I got distracted by my thoughts, so... um... I guess I stood out here longer than I meant to.” It’s not a lie by any means, but it’s definitely not the whole truth.

“Well, come on in,” his mother says, stepping out of the way so Ryuji can get past her.

Gripping the straps of his Shujin bag just a little bit tighter, he steps past his mother with a soft sigh. When the door closes behind him, he drops his bag on the floor beside the door and spreads out on the couch, lulling his head back with a soft groan as he bounces his bad leg. It’s nice to be off his feet, but he also can’t help but feel agitated. He had really been hoping his mother wouldn’t be home. He didn’t have enough time as is to figuring out his emotions and thoughts. Now he’d have less, because his mother always wanted to talk to him after school.

“How was school?”

Looking up, Ryuji sees his mother standing in front of him with a tray. On the tray is a teapot and two glasses. Sitting forward, he takes a look at the tea his mother is offering to him and instantly he knows she knows something is up.

Still, he gratefully accepts what’s offered to him after the tray is set down on the table in front of the couch. As much as he knows what the offering means, he does like tea, and perhaps having some to calm down isn’t such a bad idea.

“It was... the same as usual.”

“Did you get to see that boy? The one you told me about before?”

“Akira?” He’s the only friend he’s ever told her about, after all. When his mother nods, Ryuji also nods. He tightens his double-handed grip on his cup a bit, taking care to not break it but also feeling a bit agitated again. He goes about bouncing his leg a little more noticeably. “Yes. I see Akira every day.”

“Hmm.”

For a long time, there’s a silence between Ryuji and his mother as they sip their tea that’s both comforting and awkward. Comforting because it’s nice to know that he doesn’t always have to be talking to his mother to be able to be around her, but also awkward because there’s a strange tension between them that’s almost palpable. It’s only when Ryuji goes in for another cup of tea that his mother speaks again.

“You know... if there’s something going on at school, I... You can tell me. I’m on your side, Ryu-chan.”

Nothing could be worse than what happened with Ryuji and Mr. Kamoshida, after all. If they had made it through that, they could make it through whatever is bothering him right now.

Ryuji’s mother is the smartest woman he knows, and he knows Futaba and Makoto combined. She may work odd jobs to keep their tiny family afloat, but she’s a scientist at heart, and a damn good one at that. Nothing has ever gotten past her and despite how meek and quiet she is, she’s also blunt and straightforward. Especially when it comes to him. It’s part, if not all, of the reason he hoped she was out of the house this evening. Nothing ever gets past her and he knew he would be in this exact situation, sitting in the living room with some tea and dancing around the topic he so desperately needs to talk to someone about...

“It’s... nothing going on at school.”

At least, not exclusively. It’s also going on out of school, provided they aren’t in school. It’s going on in his head, and he’s sure it has been going on in Akira’s head for a lot longer than he’s been dealing with it.

“Is it something with your friend?”

Ryuji chews his bottom lip. “Uh... T-Technically...” 

“Technically?”

Ryuji’s inability to deal with his emotions is a gift from his father. He may not be abusive like his father had been, but he’s loud and angry as a direct result of him. He has no idea how to deal with things that bother him; he has no idea how to not go from zero to sixty when he’s upset. Hell, he doesn’t even really know how to be upset. He only knows how to be calm and then be enraged, and that’s pretty much it.

That said, he really doesn’t know how to express any of his emotions in a reasonable manner, he realizes. He’s always been extremely excitable when he’s happy and boarding on depressed when he’s sad. Then there’s the not-insignificant amount of times when he feels useless or stupid—

“Ryu-chan?”

Ryuji sighs through his nose, bouncing his leg a bit more firmly. Maybe talking to his mother isn’t such a bad idea. He already knows her stance on issues like this, so it’s not like that’d be a problem. Besides, there’s no way he can work through this on his own in a reasonable amount of time — and the last thing he wants to do is make Akira wait longer than he promised for an answer on this. Even if he’s sure he would be understanding, he doesn’t want to make him wait.

It’s just... How is he supposed to start? There’s so many thoughts going through his mind. He’s sure no matter what he says, as soon as he says anything at all, the proverbial floodgates will open and he’ll spill everything at once. He wants to at least try keeping his thoughts as organized as possible, but has he ever really been any good at doing that?

“Um... So...” Ryuji sighs and clears his throat, crossing his legs under himself so he can stop bouncing his bad one. The level of agitation coursing through him is causing his leg to hurt. “My friend, Akira, is, um... he’s bisexual.” He pauses, then adds, “You know, like... into women and men.”

Unlike Ryuji, his mother is extremely intelligent and has always been phenomenal at putting pieces together. She’s done it all his life, in one fashion or another. Not just for him, but in general. She’s extremely observant and detail-oriented. He doesn’t know how she does it, but she can always figure out what’s going on by just watching him for a few minutes, giving him some tea, and getting one or two statements out of him.

“He told you he likes you and you’re not sure what to tell him,” his mother offers gently, shifting in her spot and lightly crossing her arms over her chest. To show she’s listening to him and taking in what he has to say. “Is that right, Ryu-chan?” The nickname is exclusively to offer him comfort. She’s been calling him that since he was little, to soothe him.

Ryuji sighs softly and looks down at his hands, fidgeting with his cuticle. “I... I dunno. Almost,” he murmurs. He’s not sure what the right answer is, but he knows that’s not quite right. He doesn’t mean for this to be a guessing game, but he really isn’t good at this.

His mother doesn’t seem to mind the guessing game.

“Hmm. Which part is right?”

“Akira told me he likes me,” Ryuji says. “He asked me to meet him at Ayoama-Itchome station because he wanted to talk about something. He said he loves me. I didn’t understand at first, because he always says that, but... I figured out why that one was different.”

“So then... the part about being unsure what to tell him isn’t right?”

“Kind of? I don’t know what to tell him, but not because I want to tell him no, but because... I... I think I want to tell him yes?” Yes to what, though? Akira hadn’t actually asked him out. All he’d done is come out about liking him and he’d responded with saying he had some thinking to do. Was he just extrapolating from nothing that Akira was hoping to get some kind of ‘yes’ from him or had he just told him he likes him to get it off his chest? “I don’t understand. I think I like him.”

“Tell me about it.”

Ryuji sighs, looking down at his cup which is still half-full with the quickly cooling tea he had been given. He considers dumping it and getting some more, but then decides to just suck it up and drink the lukewarm tea in his cup instead. After all, his mother had put effort into making this for them. It would be rude to waste it by pouring it down the drain.

“Akira makes me happy,” Ryuji begins. “A lot happier than anyone has made me feel in awhile.” Besides his mother, of course, but she doesn’t count in this instance because, well, she’s his mother. “He makes me feel like I matter; like my thoughts and feelings are important to him. He’s never made me feel stupid. He... he’s patient and kind and extremely passionate. He fights for what he believes in and doesn’t let anyone or anything stand in his way. He takes everything in stride and lets things that don’t matter roll of his shoulder, but he knows how to deal with the things that do matter. Like... when he’s angry, he knows how to deal with it. He’s had a lot of shit thrust on his shoulders, a lot of shit he doesn’t deserve to have to deal with, and yet— and yet he doesn’t let it bother him. Instead, he helps others deal with all of their problems. Including me. I...”

_I love him._

Ryuji had never let himself consider it before, because he had been so sure he was nothing more than entirely straight, but as it turns out... he does love Akira. A lot. He’s usually terrible at expressing himself, but not when it comes to him. When it comes to him, he knows exactly what he’s trying to say. Things don’t become so discombobulated in his head when he’s talking to or thinking of Akira.

Except for maybe now, but this is new territory for him.

The thing is, though, Akira is the only man he’s ever felt any sort of romantic feelings toward, and those feelings are very new. Is that enough to label himself as bi? He doesn’t feel all that much less straight, even if Akira is male. Maybe a little bit, but... That’s the part that really has him the most confused. He only feels marginally less straight.

“I just don’t understand if that makes me bi, too.”

“It makes you whatever you want to call yourself, Ryuji,” his mother replies, smiling softly. It’s the smile of a mother who is proud of their child. The smile of a mother who knows how hard it is for her son to deal with emotions and is proud he did it. “I’m sure you can still call yourself straight and be with Akira. I doubt he’s really going to care what you call yourself as long as you care for him.”

That’s probably true.

In fact, he knows that’s true. Akira has been labeled as a criminal and he doesn’t let it bother him. If that doesn’t bother him, he’s sure it won’t bother him if Ryuji doesn’t label himself bisexual.

“Do you feel better?”

Nodding, Ryuji lets his legs out from under his body and puts his feet back on the floor. He notices a notable difference in himself. He feels worlds less agitated. In fact, he almost feels like a new person. Reborn. Remade. He hasn’t felt this in control of anything since he awoke to his persona back in April, and has never felt this in control of anything in the real world ever.

“Yes.”

“What are you going to say to Akira?”

“I... That I like him, too,” he replies, thinking over his words carefully. “That I like him but I don’t feel less straight because of it. If he wants to, I’d like to try out being with him.”

Ryuji’s mother brightly, delighted. She wants nothing more than for him to have a partner who cares for him, be that person male or female, and it certainly sounds like this Akira person cares greatly for her son. “Sounds perfect, Ryu-chan.” 

Getting up from the couch, Ryuji sighs softly and sets the empty cup on the tray next to the kettle. He leans down next to his mother to give her a hug. They embrace like that for a few moments before he pulls away and clears his throat, shoving his hands into his pocket.

“Thanks, mom.”

“Of course,” she says delightedly, smiling warmly, brightly. His happiness is all that matters and it’s a far cry from how miserable he had been his first year at Shujin. She’s happy he met Akira; happy that he seems so happy. “Now... go on to your room. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

* * *

[Ryuji][19:30] I have an answer for ya.

[Akira][19:30] That was fast. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until tomorrow.

[Akira][19:31] Do you want to tell me now?

[Ryuji][19:31] I had some help so I could figure it out easier, cause I wasn’t gonna be able to do it on my own. I talked to my ma and she helped me figure some shit out.

[Ryuji][19:31] But I think I’d rather wait until I come over there tomorrow to talk to ya about it. This just don’t feel like the appropriate conversation to have over messages.

[Ryuji][19:31] Is that OK tho? I don’t want ya worrying about it all night or anything. I promise it ain’t anything bad. I’d just rather wait.

[Akira][19:32] I understand. I can wait.

[Ryuji][19:33] OK. See ya tomorrow, Akira.

Sighing, Ryuji puts his phone on his side table and lays back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He crosses his hand over his stomach, lightly bouncing his leg. It’s an action more of habit than anything, at this point, and less because he’s feeling agitated about anything. This is the least agitated he’s felt in a long time.

Not that he would ever truly admit it, but talking to his mother had helped. It helped in a similar way talking to Akira helps... because she had been validating and patient, letting him work through his issues. As a result, he had done it much faster and much easier than if he had done it on his own.

He has no idea when it happened, but at some point he fell asleep... and he only knows he fell asleep, because he woke up two hours later to the smell of fish and his mother right outside his door, calling him him for food.

A long, meaningful, and open talk with his mother, a decent after school nap, and some delicious food... and, not to mention, being able to tell Akira he has an actual answer for him after only a couple hours.

Tonight certainly isn’t too bad.


	6. Personal Information

Akira is on Cloud Nine the entire commute home.

“Ah... You’re back.”

Hearing Sojiro’s prototypical greeting pulls Akira out of his thoughts. Turning to him, a small smile crosses his lips, but, this time, it’s not because of the kiss from the station. It’s because of the acknowledgment that he’s returned. It may not be much, but it still means a lot to him. It’s certainly more acknowledgment than he ever got from his actual parents on any given day.

“Yeah... I’m back,” Akira murmurs contentedly. Taking a moment, he looks around the café, noting the number of people sitting at the counter and at the booths. It seems Sojiro is having a bit of a rush. “Do you need some help with the dishes?”

“I’d appreciate that,” Sojiro says without hesitation. “Go get changed and get your apron.”

Akira nods. Hiking his bag a bit higher on his shoulder, he hurries upstairs to his room. Setting the bag down on the surface next to the staircase, Morgana climbs out of the bag, jumps down onto the floor, sort of scurries across the room, and jumps onto the bed while Akira squats and looks through his clothes to find something a bit more causal to wear, but still appropriate for the cooling weather and semi-professional-looking. He doesn’t want to look like a slob in front of Sojiro’s customers, even if all he’s going to be doing is dishes.

“That’s nice of you to offer your help.”

“Well... Yeah. He looked like he could use it,” Akira replies. He could see a stack of dishes at the sink going by the wayside while Sojiro makes the coffee and curry. It only felt appropriate to offer some help so the dishes didn’t stack up anymore than they already had.

“Are you going to talk to Boss about Ryuji?”

Akira frowns and furrows his eyebrows at the question, momentarily staring at the two different shirts he has in his hands. One shirt is a tannish-green color, long-sleeve shirt with a black strip at the v-neck collar. The other is also long-sleeve, also v-neck, but entirely maroon. He decides to go with the maroon shirt, dropping the other one back in his box of clothes. He grabs a pair of black jeans to go with the shirt and stands up.

“I... I don’t know,” Akira says, turning to look at Morgana, holding his clothes in his fist. He swallows, thinking for a moment about whether or not that’s a good idea. “Do you think I should? I haven’t even told him I’m bisexual yet. Do you think he’d take it well? He seems kind of old-fashioned about stuff like that.” After all, he used to be weird about calling his cell phone because he’s a guy. How is he supposed to believe he’ll take him coming out well, with that being his only frame of reference for how he feels about the topic? “He almost didn’t even take Futaba and I being part of the Phantom Thieves very well. Should I really try hitting him with two more bombshells like this?”

“Would you rather tiptoe around and hide it from him?”

Akira sighs heavily through his nose.

_No. Of course not._

“Look out the window for a few minutes while I change, will you?”

Morgana obliges Akira and climbs on the windowsill to look out the window. The windowpanes aren’t very easy to see through. Whether that’s a result of them being extremely dirty or because they’re tinted that dingy yellow color, he doesn’t know. Neither of them have ever tried figuring out what makes the glass anything other than perfectly transparent.

Akira makes quick work of changing out of his school uniform. First, he takes off and hangs up the jacket on a nail in the wall; then, he pulls the suspenders off his shoulders and lets them hang around his thighs, much like how Ryuji and Mishima always wear them, and then slips out of the pants entirely; and, finally, he strips off his shirt and drapes both shirt and pants over the armrest of the couch. He leaves his shoes on, slipping his pants on over them, and then pulls the shirt on over his head, nearly loosing his glasses in the process. Once he’s changed, he takes a few moments to look over himself, ultimately deciding he’s happy with the way he looks.

“Stay up here while I help out Sojiro.”

“You got it.”

Not that Morgana would come down with him, anyway. He literally never does. Sojiro doesn’t like animals being downstairs with the café is open, and he’s respectful of that despite how much he insists he isn’t actually a cat. As thus, only time Morgana ever spends downstairs when the store is open is when Akira passes through to get to his bedroom.

Clearing his throat and giving a brief nod, Akira shoves his hands into his pockets and heads downstairs. When he sees that the rush has only increased since he went upstairs, he immediately grabs his apron and goes to the back to start on the pile of dishes next to the sink.

* * *

The rush doesn’t start to slow down for a little over an hour — and even then, despite how skilled he’s become at dishwashing within the last couple months, he still doesn’t finish washing all the dishes for another thirty minutes thereafter. He’s never had to wash so many dishes for so long. By the time he’s done, his fingers are actually wrinkly and pruny. It isn’t a big deal, but it is a weird sight and it feels even stranger.

It’s nearly six-thirty before Akira puts the last clean and dried plate on the pile and Sojiro closes up shop for the day.

“Thanks for your help with that rush.”

Akira unties his apron and hangs it up, moving out from behind the counter, hands in his pockets like normal. “You’re welcome.”

Sojiro sighs and brushes his hand over his slicked-back hair. Putting both fists on his hips, he looks around the café, as if trying to figure out whether or not anything else needs to be done or if he can call it a night. Sense Akira is usually the one who mops and upkeeps the cleaning, there isn’t much left for him to do besides take off his apron and head home.

“Do you have plans for the evening?”

_“Would you rather tiptoe around and hide it from him?”_

Akira squeezes his eyes closed and pinches his temples. He hates hearing Morgana’s voice in his head like he’s some kind of Voice or Reason or something. He doesn’t even know why Sojiro’s question prompted the thought, but here he is, trying to chase it off.

“Hey... Kid, are you okay?”

“Nnnh.” Akira drops his hand, relaxes his features, and frowns. “I... Yeah. I-I’m all right. I... I don’t have plans for tonight, but... um...” It’s literally now or never, and he knows he needs to do this now. Things have escalated with Ryuji to a point of no return, whether he gets a positive response tomorrow or not. Even if things don’t work out with him, he’s ballsy enough to admit he likes someone. He could... find someone else to be with who isn’t his best friend. He likes other people at his school well enough, both women and men... Though he really hopes things go well with Ryuji. He hasn’t talked to him since Ayoama-Itchome, so he can only imagine what he’s doing right now. Not that he needs to be focusing on that, lest he start stressing about it needlessly. Things are going to turn out how they turn out and he can’t control it one way or another, so he just needs... to... stop... _thinking about it._ “Can we... talk... about something...?” he murmurs.

This whole interaction is incredibly awkward because, other than talking about Futaba, he and Sojiro have never had a sincere or deep conversation of any kind. This has to be said, though. Akira has been living here for six months and he’s going to be here for another five. Like Morgana had said upstairs, the last thing he wants is to tiptoe around the place like he’s doing something wrong for the next half a year.

“Oh! Um... Yeah. S-Sure.” Sojiro rubs the back of his neck lightly, sitting down on one of the barstools nearest Akira, crossing his arms and legs loosely. “Uh, wha— About what?”

What’s the easiest way of saying this?

Sojiro isn’t Akira’s father. If he were, they wouldn’t be having a conversation like this, because he would never come out to his own parents. Not in a million years.

However, in him not being his actual father, it feels strange, talking to him like this, in a father/son sort of fashion. It may not be their first time having a heart-to-heart, but it is the first time they’re going to talk about something Akira wants to bring up. He does and has talked about himself with his friends, but never with adults, and least of all never with Sojiro. He may be acting as the leader of The Phantom Thieves of Hearts, but he still respects at least some adults. He’s never felt it appropriate to talk about himself unless asked.

Anxiously tapping his foot, Akira rubs the back of his neck and looks down at the ground. Perhaps he should have practiced this a little bit, but considering he spent so long agonizing over telling Ryuji he likes him, clearly he would never actually get around to saying something if he did that.

“Um...” _Damn it. Just say something._ Akira groans, looking back up at Sojiro who looks a combination of confused and worried. He hates that, for some reason. _Say something to him!_ “I... So...”

“Whatever it is, Akira, just say it. I’m not going to be mad. Nothing you can say can possibly be anymore jarring than finding out you’re acting as one of those Phantom Thieves,” Sojiro says, clearly trying to comfort him. 

It works.

“I told— ah... I talked to Ryuji at the train station after school today...” He clears his throat, looking at the picture of the Sayuri on the wall. It’s a beautiful picture, full of so much love and admiration. Sometimes, when he looks at the painting, he can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have a mother who loves him that much...

Swallowing the lump in his throat and blinking away the burn in his eyes, he looks away and back at Sojiro, realizing in that moment he has something just as good as the picture of Yusuke’s mother and he’s sitting on a barstool in front of him. It’s that realization that motivates him to keep going. “I... I told him I like him. A-As more than just a friend.”

“You...?” Sojiro raises an eyebrow, confused for just a moment. This is an admittedly stupid way of coming out to someone, but if Akira is good at anything, it’s saying and doing the world’s most stupid shit. “Oh. Are you g—?”

“Bisexual.”

“Oh.”

There’s a pause between them for what seems like an eternity. It’s not an awkward silence, thankfully, but, rather, a sort of comforting silence while Sojiro thinks about what to say next; while he digests all the new information he’s been given in a, frankly, very short amount of time.

“What did Ryuji say?”

Akira frowns and furrows his eyebrows. “About what?”

“When you told him you like him,” he clarifies. “What did he say?”

“Um... He needs to think about it.”

“Mm.” Sojiro nods. “That makes sense,” he says, but doesn’t divulge why, just stating that it does. Akira knows why; he knows it’s because Ryuji is straight, and he’s trying not to think too much about that. “Well... Do your parents know about this?”

“No...”

Sojiro nods again. “Okay.”

Uncrossing his arms and legs, Sojiro stands up and moves over to Akira, pulling him into a hug. It catches Akira off guard and, for a moment, he doesn’t return it. When he does relax and actually let himself return it, he melts into it. He’s never hugged his own father before. Is this what it’s like to have a father who cares? Is this what it’s like to receive a hug from one’s father? It’s nice. There’s a certain protective nature to it he can’t describe but he likes, a lot, as if a subconscious part of him has been yearning for this for a long time and now that he has it, he can’t help but feel whole.

Akira’s marginally disappointed when the hug breaks a few moments later, but he doesn’t chase after it. Mostly because it’d be weird.

“I’m not going to kick you out, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Sojiro says, stepping back a bit and crossing his arms again. “You’ve pulled a lot since I took you in, but... I like having you around, and so does Futaba. You’re like a brother to her, and... I’d hate to lose family. Thanks for telling me.”

Akira’s heart races rapidly in his chest. He swallows and looks down at the floor. “Thanks for... not, um...”

“You got it, kid.” Sojiro smiles, shaking his head. “I need to get home. Futaba is probably wondering where I am. Feel free to make yourself something to eat; I stocked the fridge. Um... and make sure you don’t oversleep anymore. You ran out of here at the last second this morning. Running for the train on an empty stomach is silly.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sojiro chuckles. “You don’t have to call me that. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Grabbing his hat and coat, Sojiro bids Akira a good night and heads out, flipping the OPEN sign to CLOSED on his way out. It leaves one last thing for Akira to have to do before going upstairs.

* * *

“How did it go?” Morgana asks, jumping on the bed after Akira crashes down on it, looking more exhausted than when he gets back from the Metaverse. “Did you tell him?”

“Yes.” Akira sighs through his nose, crossing his arms over his chest. “He hugged me.”

“So it went pretty well, then.”

“Yeah...”

Akira sighs softly, contentedly, and stares up at the ceiling for a long while, thinking about nothing in particular for once. He’s just letting his mind wander; letting his body relax. His eyes are already heavy as it is, and staring off into space isn’t helping him to feel less like he’s about to pass out. In fact, he almost does fall asleep, but he’s startled into alertness by a loud pinging from his pocket and vibrating that goes down his whole leg.

A smile as bright as the sun crosses his face when he sees that it’s Ryuji. Akira would gladly stay up all night if it meant he got to talk to him.


	7. Electricity

“Good morning, Boss.”

Sojiro, standing behind the counter, drying a few cups Akira hadn’t gotten to the previous night, looks up when he hears the chiming of the door alerting him that someone has come in. Although he has switched the sign to OPEN, he never expects anyone to come in before lunchtime, so he’s understandably quite surprised until he sees, and hears, that it’s only Akira’s blond-haired friend.

“Good morning, Ryuji,” he replies, setting down the cup on the counter. “Akira is still asleep.”

Sitting down at the bar, Ryuji nods, putting the foot of his bad leg on the bar of the stool and letting his other leg dangle. “That’s all right,” he says, looking around the café, noting how few people are here. It’s only him and someone in the corner drinking a cup of coffee. “I kinda figured he would be.” After all, it is only eight in the morning. Even he isn’t usually awake this early in the morning on a Sunday. He didn’t honestly expect Akira to be awake, either.

“You’re welcome to go upstairs, if you want.”

“I... I don’t wanna intrude on his space.” Ryuji rubs his hand over the back of his neck, glancing toward the stairs to the attic. “I don’t wanna wake ‘im up if he’s still asleep.”

“You’re here awful early. If you figured he’s still asleep, what brought you over here?”

“My ma went t’ work and I didn’t sleep last night, so I thought I’d come over here so I ain’t alone,” he explains sheepishly, again looking over his shoulder at the man drinking coffee. Usually, he hates coffee, but he’s so tired right now, that he might consider it. “I told Akira I was comin’ over here today, anyhow. I’m just... a bit early.”

Sojiro watches Ryuji for a moment, noting how tired he looks. He has no idea what kept him up all night, but if his discussion with Akira last night is any indication, he can take a wild guess. Not that he’s going to take that wild guess while there’s someone else in his restaurant, because he doesn’t want to put Ryuji in an uncomfortable position.

Instead, he puts down a coffee mug in front of Ryuji and offers him a cup of hot chocolate.

“I... I didn’t bring any—.”

“It’s on the house.”

“If yer sure. Thank you, Boss. I’d love one.”

Taking the glass he had just put in front of Ryuji, Sojiro goes and pours him that hot chocolate. Much like everything else he sells, it’s a recipe he’s created. It isn’t as near and dear to his heart as the curry, because it doesn’t have any contribution from Wakaba, but it is indeed still something he’s proud of and serves with his head held high — and, at the very least, he knows Ryuji like it, because he’s served it to him before.

When Sojiro returns with the drink, the person drinking coffee in the corner has already dropped money on the table and left. As he puts the mug in front of Ryuji, he asks him if he wouldn’t mind going outside and flipping his store sign from OPEN to CLOSED for him.

Understandably confused, Ryuji furrows his eyebrows together, looking down at the cup of hot chocolate for a moment. It smells delicious and looks amazing, as well. “Why? Didn’t ya just open?”

“I did,” Sojiro says with a one shoulder shrug, “but I understand you and Akira have something important to talk about today, so I figure I can help you two out by closing for a little bit,” he says. “Besides,” he says with a warm chuckle, as if his next comment is somehow a joke or in some way comical, “I had a decently big rush yesterday. I think I can afford to be closed for a little bit today.”

Ryuji nods in understanding and gets up to flip the sign for Sojiro, not wanting to argue. When he sits back down at the bar, he puts both feet on the bar of the stool and his elbows on the counter so he can drink his hot chocolate by leaning over the bar a bit, holding the warm mug.

“So Akira told ya?”

“Yeah. He told me everything,” Sojiro responds with a nod, leaning against the counter. He pauses for a moment to watch Ryuji sip the hot chocolate, satisfied when he seems to be satisfied. “How are you taking it? I can imagine it’s quite the bombshell for you.”

“I talked to my mom last night. She helped me work it out,” he says, sipping the hot chocolate. Not only is it helping to wake him up a little bit, it’s calming nerves he didn’t even know were agitated. Perhaps coming over here to have this talk with Akira has him a little bit more on edge than he initially thought it would. It doesn’t change how he feels; it doesn’t change what he wants, but he’s definitely nervous. “I don’t wanna talk too much about it, in case Akira is listening. I’d rather talk t’ him face t’ face about it first.”

Sojiro nods. “Of course.”

For the next hour, Ryuji drinks through four cups of Sojiro’s delicious hot chocolate and eats through a plate and a half of his curry. He never would have guessed, not before meeting Sojiro, that something like coffee/hot chocolate and curry could go together, but it absolutely does. The flavors blend together well. Luckily he’ll be spending his day here, because he definitely wants to have more curry for lunch.

Once his second half-plate of curry is almost gone, and he’s finished his fourth hot chocolate, Ryuji hears a distant noise. Furrowing his eyebrows, he turns in the direction of the sound and furrows his eyebrows, focusing in on the sound. He’s definitely not as good at focusing his senses as Akira is, but he has pretty decent hearing nonetheless, so when the sound happens again, he can tell almost instantly Akira is awake and digging through his box of clothes. The sound of cardboard scraping across wooden flooring is a distinct sound he has heard before.

“Sounds like Akira is finally awake,” Sojiro remarks, collecting up Ryuji’s mug and mostly-empty plate, save for a mere few bites. “Why don’t ya head on upstairs now? I’ll take care of your dishes.”

“Thank you, Boss. It was delicious.”

Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Ryuji gets up from the barstool. For a few moments, he stands in one spot, looking between Sojiro and the steps that lead up to the room Akira has been sleeping in for six months. He feels strangely nervous, even though he’s been up there many times before this. This is different, this time is different. He hasn’t seen him since their conversation at the station, which he knows isn’t that long, but he’s come to a lot of realizations since then. Is seeing him going to feel different? Is it going to feel exactly the same? He’s been preparing all night for this conversation, and yet...

“Ryuji,” Sojiro’s calm voice says gently, “it’s all right. No matter what it is you came here to say to Akira, it’ll be all right.”

 _Right. I can do this. It’s just Akira_.

“Thank you again, Boss.”

With that, Ryuji draws in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out slowly through his mouth. It’s now or never, especially because he already told Akira it would be today. He has to do this today, despite how nervous he is.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Ryuji heads right up to Akira’s room.

* * *

Upstairs, Akira is finishing up getting dressed. 

Today is an important day, so he’s wearing something nice. He’s got on the same pair of jeans from when he was helping out Sojiro, but instead of the maroon shirt, he’s wearing one in the exact same style, but powder blue.

When Ryuji comes upstairs, Akira is standing at his bed, talking to Morgana. Just as he’s mounting the last two steps, he overhears him asking if he should tuck in his shirt or leave it untucked, and if he does tuck in the shirt, should he wear the suspenders from his school uniform with this outfit.

“You could always try the suspenders.”

Startled and gasping quietly, Akira whips around at the sound of Ryuji’s voice behind him. His eyes are wide as he takes in the sight of his best friend standing at the top of the stairs, across the room.

“You’re here?”

“Been here an hour,” Ryuji replies, crossing his arms, leaning on his good leg. “Been downstairs eatin’ curry. I came up here ‘cause I heard ya awake. Sorry to startle you. I didn’t mean to,” he replies, “but do ya always ask for Morgana’s opinion on what to wear?”

Akira blushes bright red, looking down at the ground. “Is that weird?”

_It’s actually kind of cute._

“Ah... N-No.”

All of a sudden, Ryuji feels awkward, his heart fluttering in his chest. Judging by the way Akira is blushing, he can tell he feels at least somewhat similarly. Again, this is his first time seeing his best friend sense the station, and after a lot of soul searching, he finds himself... feeling different, a lot different than he expected he would, but he doesn’t know how to approach any of these new feelings now that he has to. He had been sure of them, and is sure of them, but... For sure seeing Akira here, now, has set his feelings in stone, but what’s the correct thing to say? He doesn’t want to mess this up.

All of a sudden, all the stuff he wanted to talk to Akira about... it’s caught somewhere between his head and his mouth. He even tries to open his mouth a couple of times, tries to say something, anything at all, but not a single word comes out. He’s never been great at vocalizing his thoughts and feelings, but he’s at least been able to vocalize. Hell, he had even been able to make a comment about the suspenders, but now that Akira is looking at him, blushing...

All of a sudden...

Damn it.

“I... I’m sorry,” Ryuji finally murmurs, looking down at the floors. “I didn’t mean to startle you — and it isn’t weird that you talk to Morgana about fashion advice.” It is undeniably weird from an objective standpoint that Akira talks to Morgana at all, including about fashion, because Morgana is a cat, but given the situation and who Morgana is... it isn’t as weird as it could be. “Boss told me to come up here, so I did.”

“It’s all right,” Akira murmurs as well, also looking down at the floor. For a moment, he’s silent, then throws all caution to the wind and blurts out, “S-so... You, um... You said you have an answer for me?”

The question catches Ryuji off guard. “I... I do.”

“I... um... s-so... What is it?”

Ryuji draws in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out slowly through his mouth. He does that a few more times before looking up at Akira, who’s still blushing and still looking down at the floor. The shyness is such a stark difference from the Akira he knows; the one who is determined and motivated and knows exactly what he wants and how to get it. Not that this shyness isn’t still Akira, but...

Swallowing and crossing the room to close the distance between himself and Akira, Ryuji stops about six inches in front of his friend. Standing this close, his heart is racing in his chest so fast he swears it’ll burst out, but it’s now or never.

“I’m sorry,” Akira murmurs, looking up at Ryuji who’s right in front of his face. His own heart is racing a mile a minute, his face the darkest shade of red and burning, said blush covering his neck and making him wish he had worn a short-sleeved shirt, or nothing at all, lest his clothes catch fire. “My question was far too straightforward. I-I’m sorry,” he stammers.

“Akira?” Ryuji murmurs, reaching out a hand to gently take his best friend’s chin in his fingers, to sort of _force_ him to look at him, so to speak. Not through him, not in his direction, but _at him_. His eyes are saying what he doesn’t have the words to; that it’s all right, and he doesn’t need to apologize for anything. He’s nervous, too. All the practicing he did, it’s turned out useless. This isn’t what he planned at all. “I love you.”

“L-love? You l-l-l-love m-me? L-like h-h-how?” Akira is somehow blushing even more than he was, as if that were possible at this point. He would be shaking, if his body weren’t so paralyzed with shock. This _is not_ what he’s been expecting from today. “R-Really?”

Moving his right hand from Akira’s chin to his cheek, and then pressing his other hand on the other side of his face, all as gently as he can, he closes that six inch gap between them. Their foreheads press together gently, and Ryuji suddenly feels a burst of electricity blast from his core, sending delightful, pleasureful signals of all sorts throughout his whole body. In that exact moment, he knows this is right; he knows it’s Akira he wants in his arms; it’s Akira he wants to have close, always.

“Like this,” he whispers.

Moving his hands from Akira’s cheeks to the back of his head and wrapping the other one around his waist, he tangles his fingers in his messy hair and presses their lips together, kissing him gently.

Much to Ryuji’s delight, Akira immediately melts into him, wrapping his arms around his waist and returning the kiss, holding on for dear life. Akira is in his arms, melting against him as they kiss, it feels right. It feels... like it should.

Ryuji wraps his arms tightly around his partner’s waist, to hold him up, lest Akira collapse into a puddle on the floor... but also, he loves the feeling of Akira’s jelly body against his own; loves knowing he’s like that because of him. There’s something about that notion that... It boils up something deep within him he’s never felt before, and assuredly never felt toward Akira; something they’ll likely explore later.

He could definitely get used to this. 


	8. Solid Foundation

Downstairs, Morgana jumps up on a barstool, puts his two front paws up the bar, and then proceeds to mewl as loudly as he can.

_I’m hungry, Boss. Please feed me._

About the time Akira had started blushing, asking if the fact he asks Morgana for fashion advise is weird or not, Morgana had decided to leave. He didn’t know what was going on up there at this point, but he knew when he needed to leave a room; knew when he needed to give Akira a little bit of space and privacy.

The sound of a cat mewling catches Sojiro’s attention and he turns away from what he’s doing behind the bar. Seeing Morgana leaning on the counter, he scowls, his first instinct being to shoo him off, but when he mewls again, but sadder this time, his body language and facial features both soften. He glances toward the stairs leading up to Akira’s room, then back at Morgana, remembering in that moment the conversation he had had with Akira and Futaba a few days back, about them being able to talk to the cat, and the cat being able to talk to them. He didn’t, and still doesn’t get it, but he supposes Morgana is probably down here now because Ryuji is upstairs with Akira.

“Are you hungry, Morgana?”

_Yes! I want fatty tuna!_

Of course, Morgana knows he isn’t going to end up with fatty tuna. Not just because Sojiro can’t understand him, but because he doesn’t expect him to leave the café just to go get something like that for someone he perceives to be a cat. If Akira were going to that sushi shop with Sojiro and Futaba again, he could convince them to ask Boss, but that isn’t the case right now.

What Morgana ends up with is a plate of chopped up, raw salmon that Boss had bought specifically for him, at Akira’s behest. He puts the plate on the floor beside the bathrooms and, to be honest, it’s just as nice as fatty tuna — and at least it’s not that fowl canned cat food. He hates that stuff.

Morgana mewls once more before chowing down.

_Thank you, Boss._

Sojiro chuckles softly. He’s standing slightly off to the side, watching Morgana eat for a moment, fists pressed against his hips. “I’m glad you like it, Morgana.”

* * *

As much as he didn’t want to, Ryuji had broken the kiss before it progressed too far. As much as he wanted to continue kissing his best friend, they needed to talk about some stuff first — like, for example, what this made them going forward, and other such topics. They needed to be on the same page about a few things before this progressed any further.

It only seemed fair to both of them.

Ryuji had gently guided Akira to lay down — because there was no way those jelly legs of his were going to do it on their own — and then laid down beside him. It wasn’t kissing or anything, but having Akira laying on his chest while he gently played with his generally unkept, black locks was equally as delightful — and if the tiny sounds of delight coming from Akira meant anything, he agreed full-heartedly.

“You’re an amazing kisser, Ryuji.”

Ryuji blushes. “I could say the same for you, Kira.”

“Kira?” Akira glances up at Ryuji’s face, smiling warmly at the sight of the blush; at the sight of reddened, kiss-swollen lips. He wants desperately to go back to kissing, but they do need to talk, Ryuji has a point. Letting his eyes relax and close to enjoy the feeling of fingers brushing through his hair, he adds, “I like that. Have you been thinking about that one?”

“It... just kinda slipped out,” he mumbles, relieved Akira likes the nickname. It feels comfortable calling him that, so he’s delighted he can continue.

“Mm... Well, I like it.”

There’s a relatively long silence between them, but it’s not awkward by any means. Akira seems to be simply enjoying having his hair stroked while Ryuji sorts out a few thoughts in his mind. It’s nice he can have these few minutes to figure out what he wants to say without worrying about whether or not the person he’s talking to is growing impatient. This is still so new to him, after all; he has to figure out what he wants to say; he has to figure out what needs to be said.

“What does this make us?”

“What do you want it to make us?”

“Well...” That’s a good question. What does he want it to make them? The obvious answer is that he wants it to make them boyfriends, but he feels like there should be more to it than that. “I know I wanna date you. My mom helped me figure that out, but... I don’t want it to change nothin’. Like, I don’t want it to make you less my best friend, if that makes sense.”

“That makes sense,” Akira murmurs. Glancing up at Ryuji again, he smiles as he says, “I don’t want that, either. You’re my best friend, too, and I’d hate to lose that part just because I want you to kiss me again.”

“I definitely wanna kiss ya again, too, but... but as yer boyfriend.”

“It goes without saying, I suppose, all the things that got us here considered... but I definitely want to be your boyfriend, too, Ryuji.”

Akira is grinning brightly and lets his eyes relax again, sighing contently. Raising a hand, he begins to gently trace a finger over Ryuji’s clothed chest and stomach, smiling to himself when the attention awards him a soft gasp. He’s always wanted to touch his toned muscles, and he sees no better time to do just that than when he has nothing better to do with his hands.

_Oh, but if these toned muscles could be on top of him, pressing him into this mattress..._

They will get there, he’s sure of that. Right now, Akira is overjoyed with the development of calling his best friend his boyfriend. He’s wanted to for so long and now that he has it, there is no way he’s going to take it for granted, ever.

“H-have you ever had sex, Akira?” Ryuji asks, as if he’s reading Akira’s mind.

It’s pretty minimal, but the gentle way Akira is gliding his finger over the tone of his muscles has Ryuji feeling some type of way. It’s one of the questions he wanted to ask today, but he hadn’t meant to jump into it so soon. However, with the way a simple finger is lighting up whatever pleasure center in his brain that’s reacting to it, he figures now is as good a time as any.

“Um...” Akira pauses for a moment to think, as if there’s much to think about, really. He stops his hand and looks up at Ryuji once more. “No. Never. I do have, um, a lot of toys that I’ve used, but I’ve never done anything other than kissing with another person.”

“Oh.” Ryuji nods slightly. He would have done that no matter what Akira said, though. After all, he had a life before him. He’s only asking now what he did with it because it’s relevant. “All right.”

“Have you?”

“No,” he replies simply. “I never have.”

That’s that, then. It seems as though there’s nothing to talk about with regard to past sexual experiences, unless Ryuji wants to ask Akira what toys he uses. As curious as he might be, that’s probably a discussion for another time, if, but probably when, they’re actually face to face with having sex.

There’s another silence between Akira and Ryuji. This one feels a little bit awkward, but perhaps that’s just Ryuji who feels awkward. Akira has returned to tracing his finger over his toned muscles, eliciting another soft gasp from him as a result. He’s never had anyone touch him so gently. It feels kind of... Well, it feels the way it feels, but it also feels warm and delightful, compassionate and caring. It’s like Akira appreciates his body rather than wanting to abuse it like too many people have... and he can’t even explain how that makes him feel because he doesn’t know how to put that idea into words. 

Not that he wants to, even if he could come up with the words. That would surely bring down the mood in a heartbeat.

In fact, in order to not bring down his own mood, Ryuji shakes his head free of the thought altogether. There’s plenty of time to think on past abuse later. Right now, he wants to continue establishing a foundation for the relationship between he and his boyfriend. The Phantom Thieves have a foundation built on ongoing trust and communication, so should their personal relationship.

“I’m not bisexual,” Ryuji says seemingly out of nowhere, entirely prompted on the idea of foundation-building. When Akira stops touching the muscles in his stomach and looks up at him with obvious confusion in his eyes, he scrambles to explain himself, thinking he has said something wrong or somehow upset him. “I mean... I don’t feel less straight, sort of, I guess. Maybe a little less straight, but... Not to say yer like a girl or nothin’, but I haven’t ever had these kinda feelings for a boy other than you, and I can say with certainty that the _only guy_ I’ll ever have feelings for _is_ you. I just... I don’t think that’s enough t’ be callin’ myself bisexual, is all I mean.”

“Ah.” Akira nods in understanding, relaxing once again, to which Ryuji responds with a soft sigh, sounding almost relieved. He hadn’t meant to respond to the comment so viscerally, nor had he meant to alarm him, but it caught him off guard. “Okay. Yes. That makes sense.” He pauses for a moment to think before asking, “Do you know what it does make you?”

“I don’t know any labels beyond gay, straight, bisexual, and asexual. I think I could probably think of more, but my knowledge of LGBT related anything is limited to... the basics.” Ryuji cheeks blush light pink, said blush creeping down over his neck and darkening to more of a red color. He’s always been fully supportive of other people, of course. He just... knows nothing. “I thought I was straight, of course, but that doesn’t really feel like it describes me either, considerin’ I like you, so... n-no, I guess I don’t know what I am.”

“Well... Do you want to?”

“I’d like to,” he murmurs, knowing he doesn’t have to label himself if he doesn’t want to. Not everyone or everything has to fit nicely in a labeled box (which he’s learned from being friends with Akira and a Phantom Thief for the last six months), but he _wants_ to fit nicely in a labeled box, if there’s one that fits him. All sorts of concepts and ideas may be more complicated that boxes are able to hold, but Ryuji is positive his sexuality can’t possibility be one of those things. “If there’s a label that describes me, I would like t’ know it. I can’t possibly be the only to ever _be straight_ and then suddenly realize I’m in love with my same-sex best friend.”

When Ryuji had told Sojiro he’d been up all night, _this_ is almost exclusively what he had been thinking about, with a sprinkling of other stuff that didn’t bother him as much. He had, of course, been thinking about calling Akira his boyfriend, and he had been thinking about having sex with Akira, but he was all right with those things. It was the uncertainty of his identity that really kept him up.

Admittedly, he had gone to the internet to try and find an answer, but... it was largely unhelpful if only because he had no idea what he was looking for — and he could only read a portion of what he found, anyway, even with a translator app.

This decidedly required a bit more of Akira’s attention than deciding to call themselves boyfriends or bringing up past sexual experiences that never happened, so he sits up and urges his boyfriend — his _boyfriend_ — to do the same. As much as he wants to stay curled up beside Ryuji, head on his chest, spending the rest of the day just like that, they can get back to it. Helping his best friend is much more important than cuddling or kissing. Besides, selfishly speaking, if he helps him, they can get back to it... Though, that’s far from his main reason for wanting to help.

“So... There’s two terms I can think of off the top of my head,” Akira says. “One is bi-curious.”

“Not really. I’m not curious. I just... like you,” he says. “I mean, I guess I am curious about doing stuff with you besides kissing, but not in an exploratory way... I don’t think that’s what you mean by bi-curious, is it?”

“No. You’re right. That’s not really what I mean.”

“What’s the other one?”

“Heteroflexible.”

Without even knowing what the word means, Ryuji can already tell that its a lot closer to what he’s feeling. It retains the word ‘hetero,’ which had been part of his crisis to begin with: He didn’t feel all that much less straight.

“What does it mean?”

“It basically means an otherwise heterosexual identity that has minimal homosexual activity. It’s an umbrella term under bisexual,” he explains. Watching Ryuji mull it over for a few minutes, he twists his lips and waits. When he sees a flash of something similar to delight cross his face and brighten his eyes, he smiles. He loves that look of success he gets when he figures something out, regardless of what it’s pertaining to. He loves seeing Ryuji happy. “Do you like that one?”

“Yeah,” Ryuji replies with a nod, blushing. “I do. Was it really that easy?”

Akira grins. “Yeah. I suppose it was,” he says. For a moment, he pauses and looks between Ryuji’s chest and his eyes. He desperately wants to go back to cuddling, but he wants to make sure he’s all right. “Is there anything else you wanted to bring up? Or... or can we, um...”

“I did like when you were touchin’ my stomach.”

“Oh, thank god,” Akira replies, pulling Ryuji back down on the bed and resting his head on his chest. With a soft and content sigh, he immediately returns to tracing his finger over his chest, feeling over the way his muscles constrict when he laughs. It’s almost as delightful as actually hearing him laugh. “I love you, Ryuji,” he hums happily, closing his eyes. 

Ryuji smiles and wraps his arms around Akira, pulling him close, gently tracing his fingers down his back. He will always appreciate how much effort he puts into helping other people, into helping him, but he will also always want to give Akira exactly what he wants, as well; will always want to do exactly what’ll make his boyfriend the happiest, no matter what. After all, Akira does so much for so many people; he makes so many people’s lives better just by being in it. Ryuji can only hope he does the same thing for him.

Gently, he kisses the top of his head, much like he had done at the station. When it awards him a little sound of happiness, he holds him even closer still.

“I love you, too, Akira.”

* * *

Morgana sighs, sitting at the top of the stairs. 

The one downside to Akira having a boyfriend now is that he’s going to want to be alone with Ryuji, as much as he can be, especially starting out. If he were a regular cat, this wouldn’t be an issue, but he’s not a regular cat. (He also isn’t a cat, damn it.) Morgana can understand what they’re saying and they can understand him. He’s aware it’ll be all too much like someone is constantly third-wheeling on their relationship.

“Morgana,” Sojiro says from behind him, one hand on his hip, standing at the bottom of the steps. “I’ve decided I’m staying closed for the rest of today. Do you want to come to the house with me? I’m sure Futaba wouldn’t mind seeing you.”

Then again, perhaps spending the day with Futaba isn’t too bad of an idea. He does like Futaba, almost as much as he likes Akira. Not to mention, Futaba is much more likely to help convince Sojiro to get him some fatty tuna, as long as he convinces her she wants sushi. It’s more than he’s ever able to get out of Akira, when it comes to getting ahold of said food.

With a delighted mewl, Morgana hurries down the steps to stand at Sojiro’s feet. He looks up at him, watching as he calls up the stairs to Akira, saying, “I expect you two to behave, considering I’m staying closed for you.”

Sojiro smiles when the statement is acknowledged with a unison _“We will!”_ Akira is a good kid; he just has to do his due diligence as guardian and watch out for him, even if he ultimately assumes he’ll do whatever he wants as a sixteen year old boy left alone in a café attic with a seventeen year old boy he has a thing for.

Either way, Sojiro seems satisfied. 

Shortly thereafter, Morgana is following Sojiro out of the café and through the alley to his house. He can tell Boss doesn’t mind staying closed, despite what he’d said to Akira. It’s one day he can spend with his daughter, after all.

Perhaps spending time with Futaba and Sojiro when Akira wants to be alone with Ryuji isn’t a bad compromise. Not to mention, he is a high school student and he isn't going to be in Tokyo forever, so he can let him have this. He’s been pining for it for so long.

No third-wheeling to boot.

* * *

“Sounds like Boss left and took Morgana.”

Akira laughs. “Yeah, I heard,” he says, nuzzling a bit closer to Ryuji. “I knew Morgana was sitting at the top of the steps this whole time. He thinks I don’t, but I literally always know where he is... except for maybe those couple days he was in Okumura’s Palace with Haru, I guess, but—.”

“Sounds like a curse more than a blessing,” Ryuji teases, just to hear Akira laugh, and also so he won’t dwell on those couple days he didn’t know where Morgana was. (He knows Akira doesn’t blame him, but he still doesn’t like seeing him sad, and that time period had seen him incredibly sad, not having Morgana by his side.) Smiling because Akira is, he sighs softly and pulls his partner a little bit closer. “Now that we’re alone, I guess, what do ya wanna do?”

“Mm...” He pauses for a moment to think. When he sees Ryuji yawn, he smiles softly and says, “I like what we’re doing now.”

Ryuji smiles, kissing the top of Akira’s head and closing his eyes. Despite all the hot chocolate he drank and all the curry he had, he’s still exhausted from not sleeping the night before, and now that the adrenaline or whatever is starting to wear off, he’s crashing, leaving him beyond delighted to hear Akira likes what they’re doing, because he isn’t sure how much more he could do.

“Let’s take a nap.”

“Do you mind if I text Ann while you sleep?” he asks. “Also Futaba, because I don’t want Morgana to be the one to tell her we’re dating.”

Ryuji shakes his head slightly. “Not at all,” he says with a yawn so wide it looks like he’s trying to disconnect his jaw or something. Akira can’t help but chuckle at the sight; it’s kind of cute. “Go for it. Just don’t take any pictures of me while I sleep.”

“I’m sorry, but can’t promise that. You’re cute when you sleep. However... I can absolutely promise I won’t send them to anyone.” Akira smiles softly and kisses Ryuji’s cheek, who hums softly. “Sleep well, Ry.”

_Ry._

Ryuji sighs happily, burying his nose in Akira’s hair to inhale his scent; inhaling the scent of citrus and must. He finds himself delighted, knowing Akira’s shampoo is citrus-scented. He falls asleep while gently making soft circles on his back, peacefully wondering what other small, delightful details he can learn, now that he’s dating Akira.

Relaxing in Ryuji’s arms, Akira reaches for his phone from the windowsill, all the while keeping one eye on him. He’s just so happy to be like this, and he wants to tell everyone... but Ann and Futaba are a good start, if only because that’s who he told Ryuji he would text. They can tell everyone else later, together.

[Akira][11:14] Guess who I’m cuddling with!


	9. Living His Dream (Akira)

It was only less than a minute, but Akira still waited impatiently for Futaba and/or Ann to respond to his text. He was legitimately so excited to share his excitement with someone.

[Ann][11:15] Aww, congratulations. :* Now you can stop texting me in the middle of the night. See what happens when you do what I say and talk to him?

[Futaba][11:15] :O Him?!

[Futaba][11:15] Him who?!

[Futaba][11:15] I didn’t know you like men. Why didn’t you tell meeeeeee?

[Futaba][11:15] Akira Kurusu, you had better tell me who you’re cuddling with! Is your cuddling somehow related to Sojiro and Morgana being here?!

[Ann][11:15] Looks like you’ve got some explaining to do, Lover Boy.

[Akira][11:15] I’m bisexual.

[Akira][11:16] It’s Ryuji. 

[Akira][11:16] :)

[Futaba][11:16] Whaaaaat?! :O

[Futaba][11:16] Are you kidding me?! That is THE most anticlimactic reveal of a relationship I have ever seen! You couldn’t have added at least a LITTLE flair?

[Futaba][11:16] Literally how?! Ryuji is the straightest person I’ve ever met.

[Akira][11:16] Straightest, but not straight.

[Futaba][11:16] This is so crazy. So he’s, like, heteroflex or something and his sexuality is women and you?

[Futaba][11:17] Is that it?! =O

[Futaba][11:18] Oh my god, that is so cute!!

[Futaba][11:18] I so totally approve of this relationship, Akira. Congrats!

[Akira][11:18] Thank you. :) You probably shouldn’t tell him you think his sexuality is cute, but thank you. I’m very happy. :)

[Futaba][11:18] Excuse you. >: I didn’t say his sexuality is cute. It’s cute you’re the only guy he likes.

[Akira][11:18] ...Is it bad if I agree???

[Akira][11:18] ANYWAY.

[Akira][11:19] Ryuji and I will probably tell everyone else on the team when we go into Okumura’s Palace next. Sorry we haven’t gone in recently. I was being a disaster person and dealing with this instead.

[Ann][11:19] If by “dealing with this” you mean making me deal with it, then, sure. You were definitely “dealing” with it.

[Akira] >:[

[Futaba][11:19] Meh. It’s only October 2nd. We still got a bit of time... and we’re pretty much almost done with securing the route to the treasure, anyway.

[Futaba][11:19] At least you’re happy!! That what really matters here.

[Futaba][11:19] Just let us know when you’re ready to go back in, k?

[Akira][11:19] Will do.

[Ann][11:20] Congrats again, Akira. I’m glad it worked out for you both. :* Now stop texting us and go enjoy being with your new boyfriend.

[Akira][11:20] He’s asleep right now, but... Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go stare at him in disbelief that he’s actually my boyfriend now.

[Akira][11:20] Bye!

* * *

Finally putting his phone back on the windowsill, Akira rolls over and rests his head on Ryuji’s chest. He indeed does exactly as he said he would: watches his boyfriend sleep, staring at him in disbelief because he legitimately cannot believe this is real.

Six months ago, and even a little bit before that, Akira’s life had been thrust into absolute chaos. All he had done was try and protect a woman being assaulted by some man, and all of a sudden he found himself on trial for a crime he didn’t commit. As much as he may have wanted to be mad at that woman for testifying against him, it wasn’t her fault; he didn’t blame her for being forced into doing something at the threat of her safety, even if it did ultimately land him with a criminal record and expulsion from his old school.

Coming to Tokyo to live for a year with a man he’d never met, one that his parents paid to take him in, he had thought his life over. Every time he turned around, he was being reminded he was a delinquent; he was being reminded that one wrong move would send him to juvenile hall. So many people reminded him of the bullshit situation he was in in the first forty-eight hours of him being in Tokyo (and even the first few months) and none of them even knew the truth, nor would they have cared if he tried saying something. It wasn’t like anyone was going to believe a sixteen-year-old over an ‘air-tight’ court ruling.

Then Akira met Ryuji.

It wasn’t necessarily love at first sight, but he had most definitely been intrigued from the get-go. The blond-haired boy everyone tried to tell him not to hang around had been chasing down the car Ann got in. His first words in his general vicinity had been _“Damn it... Screw that pervy teacher.”_ and the look that followed once Akira responded to such a strange comment was one that remains permanently etched into his mind’s eye to this day.

It was literally right then and there, seeing that cute look of confusion and the way he cocked his head, Akira knew he liked the vulgar blond boy... and that affinity only grew as he began to speak; as he listened to how passionate and angry Ryuji was about this teacher. It may have taken him a tad long to figure out Akira was a transfer student, but that was nothing compared to how much he seemed to really care about other people; how passionate he was about injustice and wrongdoing.

Perhaps it _was_ love at first sight after all.

Then there was the fact that, upon learning about his past, upon learning about him having a criminal record, Ryuji’s opinion of Akira didn’t change. In fact, when he told him the truth of his situation, he not only _believed_ him but actually _felt bad_ for him. Certainly everyone else on the team felt similarly, upon hearing about his past, but there was something about the way Ryuji responded that was... It had been different, somehow. 

Everyone said Ryuji was a troublemaker, the _bad kid_ , and Kamoshida had called him a Track Traitor, but Akira didn’t see any of that. He saw Ryuji Sakamoto for who he actually was: a kind-hearted, passionate, and determined person with a loud, vulgar mouth who wanted to uphold wrongdoers to the same sense of justice that he did. He saw someone who had been dealt a lousy hand in life, much like Akira had, but perhaps even worse. Not to mention, to top it off, he was insanely cute. Perhaps he wasn’t the smartest person in the world, but kind, accepting, and gorgeous were more important to Akira, anyway... and Ryuji was the perfect trifecta.

That wasn’t to say the other people on his team weren’t also kind, accepting, and good-looking, because they absolutely were, but Ryuji had an extra little oomph that put him over the top — and _perhaps_ that _extra oomph_ was the fact they had awoken to their personas, within a day of one another, and immediately jumped in to protect/save the other. There was something to be said about selflessly jumping in to help someone in trouble, despite barely even knowing who they are.

Akira sighs softly and gently pulls himself out of Ryuji’s hold and supports himself up on his elbow, resting his cheek in his hand. With his other hand, he gently traces his fingers over Ryuji’s slack jawline, taking in the sound of him breathing and watching him sleep peacefully. He traces said fingers over his cheekbones, his nose, his eyebrow bones, his temples, and pretty much his entire face, feeling the structure of his features; learning them, memorizing them. He’s so beautiful. Being able to touch Ryuji while he sleeps beside him in his bed, it feels like one of the many dreams Akira has in the last six months — but he knows this isn’t a dream, because a dream could never feel like this. A dream could never tell him how soft the skin at Ryuji’s temples is; how supple his lips are against his own; how evenly he breathes when he’s asleep; how strong his arms are and how secure he feels having them wrapped around his body. A dream could never emulate the way Akira feels right now; the way he feels like he might implode at any second as he traces Ryuji’s features.

_Fuck. I love you so goddamn much, Ryuji._

His heart racing, Akira continues to watch Ryuji sleep as his fingers continue to explore, moving down to his neck now, where he takes in the gentle feeling of his throat muscles constricting and relaxing as he breathes. His fingers stay lax, the thought of touching Ryuji’s neck with any sort of force or pressure not even crossing his mind. He glides his thumb over his Adam’s apple, then sort of spider-walks his fingers down to the dip in his collar where he gently traces the definition of his collarbones.

That’s where his exploration comes to an end, because he’s already been handsy with his stomach and he doesn’t feel comfortable going any lower right now. Instead, his whole body shaking like some terribly constructed infrastructure during a max level earthquake, Akira shifts so he can lay back down on Ryuji’s chest, his ear resting right over his evenly-beating heart.

The second he hears that beat in his ear, Akira calms down, as if the soft percussion of his boyfriend’s heart has reached out to his own, grabbed it, and slowed it. His shaking stops and his own heart beat returns to normal, ultimately feeling much less like his heart might tear out of his. He actually feels soothed. It’s strange, because the same person who had just had him riled up and too excited now has him calm and relaxed. Strange, but a wonderful feeling nonetheless.

After a few moments, Ryuji’s arms idly wrap themselves around Akira’s lithe but toned frame, and immediately he melts into the hold. There is literally nowhere else he ever wants to be than right next to Ryuji, and apparently he feels the same, if the fact his _sleeping_ boyfriend just wrapped him up in his hold means anything. If Ryuji’s heartbeat weren’t doing such an amazing job of keeping him calm, the moment he wrapped his arms around him is the exact moment Akira would have imploded, he’s positive of that.

Reality may have started out a nightmare for Akira upon moving to Tokyo, but now he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. This reality is so much better than a mere dream, and despite his disbelief, this is real. He wants to live in this reality forever. Even if he can’t stay in Tokyo forever, he wants to at least leave knowing this is his reality; this is his life. No amount of dreaming could ever compare.

Taking reality with him this time, Akira peacefully falls asleep in Ryuji’s hold.


	10. Same Love, New Hopes (Ryuji)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s semi-graphic depictions of abuse/violence at the beginning of this chapter. Please be careful.

Ryuji awoke to the overwhelming need to urinate.

Realistically, Ryuji should have probably tried to use the bathroom BEFORE coming upstairs to see Akira, but he had been thinking about one thing and one thing only at the time: talking to his best friend. That is what he had hyped himself up for, which meant that everything else, including going to the bathroom post four mugs of hot chocolate, could be put on the back-burner until later.

Unfortunately, it’s later now and that back-burner has become the front-burner that’s threatening to — and, goddamn it, he really, really need to pee.

Laying in bed for a moment, staring up at the ceiling where Akira has placed a Phantom Thieves banner next to a poster of some obscure band he hasn’t heard of, he contemplates the easiest way to get out of Akira’s hold without waking him up. Although he is on the outside, which is an advantage, he knows for a fact, from many weekend sleepovers, that Akira is a light sleeper and one wrong move, one too-rough jostle, will wake him up. That, combined with how difficult it can be for him to go back to sleep once he’s awake, is a serious disadvantage that makes his only advantage here look like nothing at all by comparison.

He has to do something, though. He _seriously_ needs to go to the bathroom.

Removing his own arms from around Akira ended up being the easy part. Ryuji then gently lifts the arm Akira has draped over his stomach, picking it up by his forearm so he has the most control. Once he has it far enough away, and is satisfied he hasn’t caused him to stir, he just as gently places it down on Akira’s side. Then, even more cautiously, he pushes himself up so as to prevent the bed from creaking or shifting too much. It’s perhaps the most gently he’s ever done anything, but he slowly scoots out of bed and climbs to his feet, letting out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

Once standing, Ryuji turns around to look at Akira, who is thankfully still asleep. He lets out another breath through his nose.

Just to ensure he stays that way, though, he grabs a body pillow from the corner of the room and puts it down next to Akira. With a warm smile, he watches him almost immediately curl up around it and, once more, remain asleep. He even looks more relaxed somehow, which is a plus.

With that, he hurries downstairs to use the bathroom.

* * *

Coming back upstairs, Ryuji decides he doesn’t want to get back in bed. Not because he doesn’t want to be next to Akira, but simply because he doesn’t want to risk waking him up by taking away the body pillow and then getting him back in his arms. It had already been an ordeal and a half to get out of the bed. He doesn’t suppose he’ll be as lucky again and would much rather let Akira sleep.

As such, he grabs the small stool from the workbench and moves it to the side of the bed. Once he has the seat where he wants it, he sits down with his elbows on his knees, chin resting on his clasped hands, and watches his boyfriend sleep.

It doesn’t take long for his mind to wander.

Most of Ryuji’s life has been met with nothing but pain at the hands of adults who were supposed to have his best interest at heart. 

Up until his father bailed on him and his mother only a few years back, the abuse from him had been almost constant. He always had a black eye here, a bruise there, or sometimes he could even be seen walking with some kind of limp if one paid enough attention. Not that anyone ever paid any attention to him or his limp — or his bruises and black eyes — nor did he want them to. It’s why he got good at covering up the bruises and disgusting the limp; it’s why he got good at pretending the pain didn’t bother him: he didn’t want people to notice. If the went unnoticed, no could pry, and if no one pried, attention wouldn’t be brought upon himself and his family. If anyone had found out about the abuse, there’s no telling what would have happened — to him or, even worse, to his mother.

Things were all right for awhile after Ryuji’s father left. Granted, things got difficult for his mother, but he had track and he was damn good at it. He had intended to use that to make things easier for his mother. It had been a surefire thing! He had been a shoe-in for a scholarship.

Of course, that, like everything else, had to be taken from him.

A soft moan of distress leaves Ryuji’s lips as he recalls the absolute _**INTENSE**_ amount of pain he had been in when Kamoshida broke his leg. It had been the worst pain he ever felt; it had been worse than all the abuse he faced at the hands of his father combined. Never in his life had he felt a pain so intense, so absolute, so blinding, that he threw up as a result... but then, perhaps he had thrown up because of that gruesome sound; the _sound_ of his bone snapping. It had been blood-curdling. It had been— 

Another soft whimper leaves Ryuji’s lips as he moves his arms around the back of his neck, clasps his fingers there, and doubles over on the stool.

The memory of that day with Kamoshida plays through in his head. The memory of the searing pain; the memory of the sound of his bone snapping; the memory of nearly blacking out from the amount of pain he was in. It all plays through his mind like some horrible, twisted movie. A twisted movie in which he’s the star. Tears are streaming down his face, staining both his skin and his clothes, but he doesn’t even notice. The memory is too strong; the vice it has on him can’t be broken. He’s stuck in this hell of a flashback for—

“‘Yuji?”

The sound of Akira’s soft, gentle voice saying his name yanks Ryuji back to reality instantly. Furrowing his eyebrows, he slowly drops his arms and sits up, looking over at the bed, where Akira is strangely still asleep, but seems distressed. He seems... kind of panicked, somehow, for some reason. He isn’t holding the body pillow anymore, it being on the floor at Ryuji’s feet now. However, Akira doesn’t seem to be scrambling for the body pillow, like some subconscious part of him knows the pillow isn’t Ryuji. He just seems upset, and— Is it perhaps possible Akira can sense Ryuji’s distress and it’s upsetting him? That seems like a ridiculous notion to him, if only because someone caring that much about his distress is foreign to him, but he supposes Akira can do other, stranger things, and—

_No. Never mind that right now._

Shaking his head because _why_ Akira is upset isn’t nearly as important as doing something about it, Ryuji gets up and climbs back into bed. Scooping his boyfriend into his arms, he rests his head on his chest so his ear is directly over his heart. Gently, he traces his fingers over his back, making small circles along his spine. 

Much to his satisfaction and relief, Akira calms down and ultimately remains asleep. He gasps every so often, but it’s cute and never escalates into more, so he thinks nothing of it and merely stokes his back and spine, satisfied.

Ryuji eventually gives a soft sigh of relief.

Before too long, his boyfriend sleeping peacefully in his arms as he gently caresses his fingers over his spine, his mind begins to wander once again.

The first time Ryuji met Akira, it had been when he was chasing down Kamoshida’s car because Ann had just got into it. He hadn’t even been paying that much attention to Akira specifically, except that he was someone who listened to him blow off a bit of steam; he was someone new and interesting — and, most importantly, he was someone who didn’t know him or his past. Akira was someone Ryuji could get to before him being known as a _troublemaker_ did, meaning he could be the one to shape his opinion, not some bullshit like being a Track Traitor.

As it turned out, Akira was also a troublemaker. Or, at least, that’s what everyone thought. He found out about his criminal record and how he got it — and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Considering his own past, he became all too acquainted with being pegged with an underserved title, which is perhaps a big reason Ryuji became so determined to do whatever he could to help and protect Akira, besides it being the right thing to do, in terms of helping him in Kamoshida’s Palace when he awoke to his persona.

Over time, Ryuji’s admiration for Akira grew. He found himself wanting to be by his side, always being the first to respond to Palace Infiltrations or Mementos runs. He did everything he could to be Akira’s right hand man; to be the person he could most rely on. Whatever Akira did, Ryuji wanted to be right there beside him, helping him any way he could.

Ryuji found himself unable to truly function when Akira wasn’t around. He found himself growing more and more excited over time to see him during school; to see him after school, to see him _literally at all_. He had even told him once that his place was next to him, and had not long after that comment realized that that then made the opposite true. Akira’s place really was next to him and he had meant every word.

Idly, still tracing small circles on Akira’s back, Ryuji wonders if he had interpreted that comment as something romantic? How many comments had he made that sounded romantic without him even trying to? He realizes now that the feelings he had been developing were indeed feelings of _romantic love,_ but he hadn’t realized it at the time, and had merely thought his deeply passionate emotions were purely platonic. How many times had Ryuji said something that Akira then proceeded to fret over, trying to figure out if he liked him or not?

Ryuji sighs, shaking his head again. That’s just about enough of letting his mind wander, he decides. His thoughts always get so damn jumbled up and never make sense, anyway — least of all to himself.

Pulling Akira a bit more securely into his arms and tightening his hold, he presses a soft kiss to his forehead, lingering for a moment to take in the sweet citrus scent of his shampoo. It resides alongside the smell of coffee, which Ryuji finds rather delightful all mixed with his natural musk. It may have taken him longer than it should have to reach this point, but Ryuji isn’t going to take a single thing about Akira for granted, even if just the way he smells, how soft his skin is under his lips, or how delicate he is in his arms and how much of a stark difference that is from how he is as Joker.

“I love you, Akira. I’m so sorry I stupidly took so long to figure it out. You must think Imma real idiot for thinkin’ the way I felt about you was only platonic,” he murmurs quietly, then sighs. There’s no use beating himself up. Akira wouldn’t want him to; he wouldn’t blame him. “I promise I love you so effin’ much and I promise I won’t take this for granted.”

“Love you, Ry,” Akira mumbles in his sleep, a soft smile spreading across his lips. He shifts a bit and settles in Ryuji’s arms in a new position.

How is Akira even still asleep right now, what with all the moving and talking he’s been doing? With the distress he had been in before? Perhaps he’s heavier of a sleeper than originally thought—

_Love you, Ry._

That’s not even close to the first time Akira has told Ryuji he loves him. In the last six months, he’s said it dozens, if not hundreds, of times — and he’s said it in return almost every time. It’s never felt awkward or weird to tell Akira he loves him, even if he had truly believed he loved him in only a platonic sense. It doesn’t feel awkward or weird to say it now, either, though, nor does he feel that way about dating Akira at all. It feels natural; it feels right. It feels... like the best decision he’s ever made, agreeing to date his best friend.

Hearing Akira say he loves him, asleep in his arms like this, and smiling, Ryuji’s heart picks up and he feels tears tugging at the corners of his eyes. As if he could possibly hold Akira any closer, he tries, burying his nose into the mess of black hair. He doesn’t mean to be crying, but hearing those words said that way, so innocently and with such a pure and soft smile, he realizes just how insanely blessed he is and how much he loves the boy sleeping in his arms, and how much the boy in his arms loves him in return. Ryuji actually, seriously makes someone happy enough to smile in their sleep; he makes someone happy enough to want him around — and that someone just so happens to be the sweetest, kindest, most intelligent, and cutest man — no, _person_ — he has literally ever met.

It’s safe to say that Akira absolutely has Ryuji wrapped around his finger. He has since day one... and he literally wouldn’t want it any other way because he legitimately loves him just so goddamn much.

Ryuji might not be great at expressing himself or having organized thoughts, but he knows this for sure: He loves Akira with all his person. He loves the man who looked past the labels and saw him for who he is. He loves the man who pulled him from a dark place and helped to build him up, despite all the horrible people who tried to destroy him. He loves the man he fights alongside to change the hearts of horrible adults. He...

Damn it all, Ryuji absolutely _absolutely adores_ Akira and would do just about anything to make him happy, no matter what it is. He deserves all the happiness in the world and he wants nothing more then to give it all to him.

Hence being wrapped around Akira’s finger, Ryuji supposes. Not that he minds; not that he’ll ever mind. He’d rather be wrapped around Akira’s finger and making him happy than doing anything else.

Despite himself, Ryuji actually manages to fall asleep once more, the emotional roller coaster he just took himself on being his undoing. This time, though, he falls asleep holding his boyfriend as if he somehow thinks he might lose him.

This is such a _perfect_ way to spend a Sunday.


End file.
